toxicwasteland127: CSI (Default)
[personal profile] toxicwasteland127
Title-He’s A God, He’s The King
Summary-Jim and Warrick spend their morning outside a courtroom.
Disclaimer: They are not mine. I’ll give them back when I’m done. Please don’t sue.

“Jim, if you get any closer to me, people will think you’re trying to hump my leg.”

“Relax, Rick. We’re just having a little discussion before court. It’s perfectly normal.”

“Normal for who? The police captain is all up in a CSI’s face. People are starting to stare.”

“Nobody’s starring. You’re being paranoid.”

“Ecklie’s looking at us.”

“He probably thinks we’re fighting about the case or trying to get our facts straight.”

“He knows we don’t fight anymore. Besides, I was pretty damn hysterical when you got shot. Ecklie’s not blind, ya know.”

“Tell ya what, Rick - why don’t we move this discussion into the men’s room.”

“Are you nuts? They’ll be calling us into testify any minute now.”

“I’ll be quick.”

“Didn’t you get enough last night? You’re too old to be this horny.”

“That’s not the tune you were singing last night. If memory servers me it went something like this: ’Oh God, baby! That feels so good! Please, please don’t stop. Oh, Oh, Jim! You’re a God! You’re the King!’ Maybe I just imagined it. Maybe my old ass is going senile.”

“You need to shut the hell up. Ecklie is headed this way.”

“Is everything all right over here, gentlemen?”

“Conrad. Things couldn’t be better. At least, I think so. Of course, I could be senile.”

“Are you trying to be funny, Brass?”

“Yeah, but I don’t think I’m succeeding. CSI Brown doesn’t seem to have much of a sense of humor this morning either.”

“Is everything ok, Warrick? Brass isn’t giving you a hard time, is he?”

“Ah, no more than usual.”

“Brass, You need to leave the star witness alone. I don’t want him flustered when he takes the stand. You’re a bad influence on him. So, why don’t you go sit over there.”

“And leave him alone with you. Not a chance!”

“Well, at least I won’t attack him in broad daylight, in front of a courtroom, with countless witnesses. A darkened alley, maybe, but not a courthouse. I have ethics!”

“I hate to break up this little tug of war, gentlemen, but they’re ready for us. So, can we please get this over with. I’m really tired and I’m not sure how much longer I can stay awake.”

“I suppose that’s your fault too, Brass. As I recall, Brown had the night off. Oh, never mind. Let’s go.”

“Come on, my king. The sooner we get this over with, the sooner we can get home and you can, once again, prove your stamina.”

“Yup, I just hope I can remember where we live.”

“No problem, your majesty. I’ll drive.”

< Fin >
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May 2007

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